Keep holding on
by LadySeara
Summary: Kuroko's death, Aomine feels. Warning: characters death, many thoughts about dying and breaking down.


**Pairing:** Aomine Daiki x Kuroko Tetsuya

**Warning:** Characters death

**Song:** Keep holding on (Avril Lavigne)

Thanks **Hyper Vongola Decimo** for correct :)

* * *

_Did you ever think about the end of the world? The Day, when your heart stops beating, but you are still breathing and walking? Did you ever hear whispers in the dark, but when you turned around, you were all alone in the room? Pain in your chest growing stronger and stronger, and you can't help it? Just laying and crawling, without stopping the tears? Days, when people push you into talking about your feelings, about how they want you to get together, but you just want them to shut up and let you sleep? But they ask so many questions and you need to answer them, if you want to leave**. Did you ever consider suicide? Do you want to hurt yourself? Are you lonely? Don't hold it in, tell us about it. We can hear you out. Time will soon heal your pain. Don't fight it. Cry. Cry out loud. Cry! It will make you stronger! Stay alive! Your friend would be sad if he saw you like this! Stay strong, be strong for him! **_

_But you know that time will come and you will be together again. That he will call for you and you will meet again. Even if it means that you will need to walk for a thousands of miles, it doesn't matter. Distance, time, pain, none of it matters anymore._

* * *

Aomine was laying in bed. The room was dark, because he covered the windows with blankets. The room was stinky, because Aomine didn't let the fresh air in for a while. But it didn't matter to him. He didn't feel it. His mind was empty. He stared at the ceiling, but his eyes didn't see anything. He sank into the darkness, physically as well as mentally. He didn't eat, he didn't sleep, since that Day.

His world ended in the blink of the eye. He was training with Tōō, when Hyuuga phoned him. He was surprised; _what could Seirin's captain want from him? Did he choose the wrong number? First of all, who gave it to him_? But he answered it anyway.

At first he thought it was some lame joke and Hyuuga was teasing him. His words didn't make any sense.

'What do you mean? What accident? Oi, stop it! Don't you dare say any more! I don't wanna hear it, I don't want to believe it!'

He threw his phone at the wall. He was angry, seriously pissed off. His teammates looked at him with concern. Satsuki was helpless, she didn't know how to react. He had problems with his temper before, but never so strong.

'Dai-chan, what happ-' she didn't end, because her phone also rang. She answered it and became pale in a moment. 'Aida-san, what do you mean…? No, it's a lie! Tetsu-kun couldn't have died!'

Aomine didn't remember clearly what happened after. When he heard those words out loud again, he lost it. Satsuki told him later that he destroyed club room and badly hurt anyone who tried to stop him. His mind was blank and everyone were powerless. They didn't know how to calm him down, how to stop him from hurting others and himself.

But still, he didn't feel anything. He was laying, but he didn't cry. Not even once. His eyes stayed dry. Aomine wanted to scream, but he didn't have the strength to do that. It was impossible for him to sit, not to mention to do anything harder than that.

'Dai-chan, it's time. Come on, let's go,' Satsuki's voice was rasping.

'No.'

'Dai-chan, it's your last chance to see Tetsu-kun,' tears started to fall down again. Momoi wiped them, but there were more and more. Her eyes were red and swollen, like she was crying for her and for Aomine as well.

'He didn't die.' His voice sounded like it was somebody else's.

'Dai-chan…' she whispered. 'You know that denying it won't change anything. Te-Tetsu-kun is no longer here. Let's go, Dai-chan. We can't be late for the funeral…'

She helped him with the basic activities. Aomine took a shower and changed his clothes. He was like a big doll, he did everything automatically. Momoi was scared that his daze won't end. Since Kuroko's death Aomine became someone else. He was distant and he didn't want to talk about his thoughts or feelings with anyone. Not her, not the psychologist, not even his parents or friends. Aomine totally withdrew into himself. Kise and Kagami visited him, but he didn't say a single word to them. He was staring at the window, like he was alone in the room.

* * *

_If somebody is __terminally ill, you expect them to die. You say goodbyes every day, little by little facing the truth. You are prepared for the bad news. You know that one day you can get a call and hear those cruel words. But you will be calm, because you were ready for this. You knew all along that it will end like this. You had time to repair the wrongs, to let them go in peace. But if someone dies in accident? When the world takes him or her from you, without giving you the opportunity to say anything? It hits you like a lightning bolt. Your mind is full of thoughts about that person. You regret everything bad that happened. There are so many unspoken words, stuck in your throat. It makes you sick. It drives you crazy. But it won't end. You cannot change it. The truth is painful, but you need to accept it. _

* * *

It was raining since morning. Heavy, grey clouds covered the sky, while mourners gathered on the graveyard. Funerals are never nice, but when it's the kid, who died, they are serious and hard. The graveyard was crowded. All teams gathered, including Rakuzan and Yosen. Almost everyone was crying. Kuroko was like a part of their souls, so accepting his death was impossible. They never expected that he would die so young, so soon. He was meant to live long, to become an adult, to become a kindergarten teacher, to become a good, reliable friend, in spite of the fact that his path and the paths of his friends parted. Riko was crying silently. Her hand was clenched on Hyuuga's shoulder. The boy was slowly stroking her back. He was torn apart because of her tears. He felt so powerless.

'Riko, stop, please,' he whispered in her ear, but his eyes were also wet.

But he knew that both of them will be okay. The rest of the team will also be okay. They were strong. They knew that Kuroko wouldn't like to see them like this. But it was easier said than done. Seirin ended up in tears. Mitobe needed to hold Kagami, because he was so weak and messed up.

A part of them was also buried that day.

* * *

_You are surrounded by people, but you are all alone. They speak to you, but you don't hear them. You only see their lips moving, trying to comfort you, to help you understand. They are worried about you, but you don't give a fuck. They don't know what you feel. They don't know how painful it is for you just to be there. Every breath you take is like pushing a knife into your heart. You wish for it to end quickly. Suddenly your mind is clear. Out of the blue, words are no longer stuck in your mouth. You need to throw them out. Speak them out loud, before it will be too late._

* * *

'How dare you leave me alone.'

Satsuki lifted up her head. She heard something, but wasn't sure what.

'Dai-chan, did you say something?' she asked, looking at him with concern. His lips were so dry they were bleeding.

'HOW DARE YOU LEAVE ME ALONE, TETSU?! HOW COULD YOU DIE WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE?! DIDN'T YOU PROMISE ME THAT WE WILL GET ALONG NOW? THAT WE COULD BE FRIENDS AGAIN?!'

* * *

_All of them are looking at you. They don't know what to do, what to say. They listen to your words, unable to stop you now. Although it's too late to apologize, to make it right again, you don't care. The dam in your chest lets those words go. Tears are falling, but you don't feel them, not yet._

_But you are weak. You know it doesn't make a change. He didn't hear you. You will never see him again. It all crushed down on you. Emotions you can barely control. Pain which destroys you, step by step. You are alone in the darkness. No one is going to save you. They are all focused on their grief. They told you they know how you feel, but how can they know when they have somebody in their life who makes it less hard? They split their anger and sadness between them, making it easier to carry. You don't have anyone to hold you tight. It gets colder by second._

_Now you must decide. Are you going to fight this alone? Will you stand up again and live, dealing with the pain and loneliness?_

_Or will you just give up?_

* * *

Two weeks later they gathered on the graveyard again. Ironical, this day was sunny and nice. They were sad, they were crushed, but only Momoi was crying.

'Dai-chan, how could you live me alone…?' she asked, looking at the black coffin.

* * *

'I knew you will be waiting for me. You promised me we will be together, didn't you?'

'You did it? You are more stupid than I thought, Aomine-kun' Kuroko smiled and stood up from the bench. 'Yet I knew you will follow me.'

'Shut up' he grabbed his hand. 'Sorry for making you wait, Tetsu'


End file.
